It's now 7:52pm, and I'm on day 10, hour 5, 321 of grading midterm papers.....and someone just had to the balls to tell me I should just stop assigning homework. Listen friend, I would love to, but it turns out students these days are lazy, ungrateful, entitled little technology addicted complainers. Believe me, if I could count on the fact that students would study outside of class, read the appropriate texts, look into background information, and widen their own horizons, I would assign homework (this would be how graduate school works and why so many people fail out of it....or better yet, just never get in). But guess what? People are lazy.....which is why it has become the unpleasant task of the undergraduate instructor to ensure that students get the information and practice necessary to learn new things. It's not a fun job....do you think I like reading 60 of the same paper over and over and over full of errors that, by now, should not be made? Oh yes, it's the way I love to spend my weekend. Do you think I like spending hours on end writing review worksheets that are similar (but not too similar) and loosely mirror (but not coo closely) the exam structure? Let me help you: NO! It's a waste of my time if students can't be bothered to spend a few minutes a day to learn the gems that I provide. How do you think it feels to know that I spend EXPONENTIALLY more time on your homework than you do? How do think it feels to explain a concept 18 different ways, with 568 different examples, take questions for 4 days, get the thumbs up that "yes, we understand" and then grade your paper which clearly shows that you were not paying attention when I was talking? Do you think I have nothing better to do than put together grammar exercises for you? Do you really think your texting during my class is going unnoticed? It's not.....I'm just tired of telling you to put your phone away and I'm deducting it from your participation grade. Do me a favor, if you're not interested in what I have to say, don't come to class. It just ticks me off to watch you sleep through a film that has single handedly shaped the cinematic world into what it is today. I'm sure your little girlfriend has many an important detail to share about her drunken debauchery last night.....but if you whip out that piece of crap flip phone one more time I swear to Dio I'll take it from you and drop it from my non-existent office window.
So.....in case I haven't made myself clear, I'd love to not have to assign homework. I'd love it if you talked in class when I ask you to, if you'd write on the board when I ask for volunteers, if you'd take some initiative and do a little background reading on your own. I'm sure you don't realize this, but I could teach you SO MUCH MORE if you'd take a little responsibility for your own education. But alas, you don't. Why would you? You've been babied to the point that you think everything should be handed to you on a bedazzled platter.....so, I will continue to give you homework to try and help you learn good study habits. If you choose not to learn from them, not my fault......but don't you come crying to me when the real work rears its ugly head and BITES YOU IN THE A**!!!!
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