Top 10 tips for surviving:
1. Do not skip my class. I will hunt you down and ask you repeatedly why you're not gracing me with your presence.
2. Do not refuse to print the syllabus, never check blackboard, never listen in class, and then approach me to ask when the next quiz is. If you only did one of the afore-mentioned activities you would know!
3. Do not refuse to buy the book, never turn in homework, rarely attend class, and then ask me why your participation grade is so low.
4. Do not text in class.
5. Do not sleep through my oh so interesting lessons......life skills, this is what I have to impart to you. Knowledge and life skills.
6. Show up for the tests.
7. Smile - if I think you're trying to kill me with silent daggers shooting out of your eyes, I will call on you repeatedly and try to make you laugh. It can be pretty awkward.
8. Ask questions. If you don't know what's going on, chances are other people don't either. Be the hero. Ask the question.
9. Remember that I cannot dance but will if you ask me to.
10. Never bash the Real Housewives.
You are so very capable of all of these things. I promise you that my bark is harsher than my bite. All you have to do is show up, smile, and ask questions. ANYONE can do this if you try. I promise I can make you laugh, and yes, I will perform some kid of whack job choreographed dance at some point during the semester.....it's kind of my trademark. If you are afraid to meet my eyes, stare at my shoes, they're always pretty interesting. These, my friends, are the secrets to surviving my class. Welcome to the club, handshake to be taught at the next meeting.
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