Oh no they didn't

One of my (sometimes unwanted) hidden talents is to be able to make people feel comfortable enough to share their feelings with me very very quickly.  Sometimes that's a good trait to have, other times it makes me want to reach out and slap people across the face.  First of all, if you wouldn't normally say something to someone else why must you say it to me?  Here's a list of this week's "Oh no they didn't" declarations.  And let me just tell you, oh yes they did.

1.  "Don't go falling in love with me."  What?!  How could I not?!  I mean, I always fall for self-righteous, self-centered, egotistical weirdos.  The questions is, do you really think that after talking to me for ten minutes that I just can't help by falling hopelessly in love with you?

2.  After I explained twice that we offer this particular class at 10, 12, and 2.  "But my class meets 9:30-11 so obviously I can't register for any of those class times."  I can't help you when you're in stupid mode.  Come find me when common sense has kicked back in.

3.  "I don't know why everyone thinks English is so hard."  Until you've tried to learn it or explain it to someone who doesn't speak English, you have no idea.  Ever tried explaining the difference between lead, lead, and led to a non-English speaker?  

4.  "You take people to Sicily?!  Isn't that dangerous?  I mean, what if the Mafia starts acting up."  No comment.  Except that you're an idiot.  

5.  "You're so busy you never have time to go out?  That's too bad.  Can you do this for me?"  Look, don't knock my schedule if you're just going to add things to it.  Thanks.