The Mid-Semester Slump

My dearest darling students,

It's that time again: mid-semester slump time.  Granted, usually in the Fall the MSS comes after midterms, this year just seems to be extra tiring for everyone (and by everyone I include myself although ya'll seem to think I'm some sort of super-being that doesn't have any work or need for sleep).  But of course, you're students, so you either don't realize, ignore, or don't care that teachers have work too.  Now, there are many indicators that the MSS has arrived, and while these situations can pop up at any time, a combination of three more of the following definitely means the MSS has arrived.  Think for a moment, have you engaged in any of these situations?

- You roll your eyes even more than normal - which is completely inappropriate in itself.  Keep you eye rolling for the hallway and your home please.  Thank you.
- You conveniently forget (or more likely ignore) my "no technology" rule.  I'm not stupid, and I'm not blind.  I can see you texting under your desk and after I've said something three times, I just note it and drop your participation grade.
- You decide that arriving on time is no longer important (because what important information could be divulged in the first ten minutes of class?!).
- You stop doing your HW (always a good tactic when teetering on the edge of a grade).
- You ask me repeatedly when the next quiz will be even though I can see the syllabus sticking out of your notebook.  What do you think a syllabus is?  Why do you think I write it?  Why do you think I killed trees making hard copies and handing it out to you the first week of class?
- You feel the need to lecture me on how hard your schedule is, that you have more than one class, etc.  I know you never consider this, but you're not my only student, so point taken.

Well, my little lovelies, believe it or not, I've been there.  And not just me.  All teachers.  Or maybe you forgot.....we all have masters degrees, some of us even have PhDs.  I'm sure that when you call me Dr. Greenfield you don't realize it means that not only did I finish college (and listen, if you can't handle my class you wouldn't have been fed to the wolves the first day of my college experience), and I also happened to finish seven years of graduate school too.  And in a crowning achievement, I actually published a dissertation while working full time and taking care of you wee little ones.  But yes, you're right.  Your life is so much harder than mine ever was.  There's no way I could ever understand what you're going through or how hard it is to learn Italian.  I was miraculously born as a perfect being with a perfect accent, a brain that soaks up new languages through osmosis, and I have 18 arms so grading and writing tests is a breeze.  Five minutes at most.

So here is my request to you: please stop acting like an idiot, remind yourself that the world is not all about you, and stop complaining to me.  Telling me how hard you life is doesn't make me feel bad for you, it only makes me feel good about the fact that I never complained to my professors about the college experience because now I know what it looks like from their perspective (and it's not a good impression, if you're wondering).  Also, my life is hard too, but do I walk in and spend half the class-time complaining to you?  When I do, that's your cue that you should fill the second half of the class with your own complaints.  But until then, NO MORE COMPLAINING!