Kate, this one's for you

So a friend from high school thinks that my mature kitty, Harley, deserves his own blog.  I'm not sure he can commit to that seeing as he sleeps 23 hours a day and only wakes up to move to the next room and go back to sleep, we're going to test drive this idea.

Here's what Harley has to say about this week at Chez Jessica.

1.  I prefer to keep my eyes closed, or only open in tiny little slits, while I sleep, walk around, eat, and poop.  I don't know why people keep trying to get me to open my eyes.  It's weird.

2.  Since I'm neutered, I can't really say if I like boys or girls, but here are three things I do like: purple, rhinestones, jingle bells.  Thank you mommy for my new collar.  

3.  Dear wind: I don't like you.  That's why I try to bite you every time you come through the window.  

4.  My current obsessions are two: playing with my laser toy (and when I say playing I mean I chase it for about three minutes then I lie down and watch it for the next ten) and playing scrunch rug.  It's a very complicated game where I find every rug in the house and scrunch it up into a ball and make people trip. It's super fun.  You should try it.

5.  I don't like sitting water.  Why would I drink from the strategically placed water bowls when I can drink directly from the faucet and get nice, fresh, running water?

6.  I don't like to be held.  I don't like to open my mouth.  Therefore when Jessica holds me for more than three minutes I whine.  With my mouth closed.  It's sounds eerily like a 2-year old child.

7.  I like small spaces, this is why I have burrowed my very own fort in the bottom of the pageant gowns in the closet.  Forts are only cool if they include rhinestones and silk charmeuse.  

8.  Since people are starting to doubt my masculinity I have decided to sit spread eagle on the bed for at least ten minutes each day.  I try to hit the time when people are around too.