Ridiculous Reasoning

As a single girl whose friends are mostly married and working on kids (sometimes even kid 2, 3, or 4) people often offer their unsolicited opinions as to why I'm lucky to be single.  Well, I suppose it's better than being told where I need to go or what I need to do to find Mr. Right, but still, most of stuff is just ridiculous.  Here are some examples.

1.  "You're so lucky you're single.  I'm have to do laundry all the time."
You're so right.  Us single girls, we don't wash our clothes.  We just wear the dirty ones over and over.  It's probably why we're still single.

2.  "You're so lucky you're single.  I hate cooking for more than one person."
Well, you probably don't remember this because your blinded by your wedded bliss, but recipes don't usually come in single serving directions.  And us single girls have to eat the same crap for days on end because there's only one of us to eat it.

3.  "You're so lucky you're single.  You always get to pick the movie."
Yes, and while I don't mind going to the movies alone, have you ever tried to go to a Friday night opening of some blockbuster movie by yourself?  Not as fun.  We single gals make use of the $5 first showing special and end up wasting away the sunshine hours in a dark over air conditioned theater because you paired off kind dominate the nighttime showings.

4.  "You're so lucky you're single.  You don't have to clean up after anyone."
Except myself.  And unless you're talking about your kids, maybe you shouldn't have married someone who doesn't know how to clean up after himself.  Or maybe that's one of those things you should have discussed before marriage: "I love you, but I will not clean up after you because as soon as you say 'I do' you will forget how to put things in the trash, wash dishes, put dirty clothes in the hamper, or flush the toilet."  I know there's some give and take, but those deal breaker type things probably should have been discussed up front.

5.  "You're so luck you're single.  I have to do everything around my house."
Good point.  I, who live alone, delegate my daily chores to my forty-seven cats.  At least you have two people to split stuff!  I have to take out the trash AND get the mail (and if you know me at all you'll know how much I hate hate hate getting the mail).

So, paired off people, before you tell me why I'm so lucky, just put a little thought into what you're going to say to me.