Independent study is a funny little pocket of academics that I think is a little confusing for students. Sometimes I think students feel entitled to register for an independent study (often without asking the instructor first) or that it's an option for them at any point in their academic career. Here are a few things you might not know about independent studies, my dear students.
Professors are not paid extra to teach independent study courses. Also, they are in addition to our regular teaching load and they are often more work than a regular course because we have to create something from scratch and usually at the last minute.
You might also reflect upon why you need the independent study. Is it because you didn't plan your degree well and you want to graduate this semester and need another course? Is it because you forgot to complete your requirements and now you need me to help you so you can graduate on time? Or is there a valid reason that a particular course is not available to you (and failing to register until the first day of classes so that the one you need is full is not a valid reason)?
Independent study courses should be just as much, if not more, work than a normal course. Even though you might only be meeting with your instructor once a week rather than two or three times doesn't mean you should expect only one third of the work. You should actually take advantage of the one-on-one time with your instructor and use it to get some good work done.
If you are willing to put in the work, please do not inform an instructor that you need an independent study. As I stated, we don't get compensated for the extra amount of work this course will be. Just because your friend got one last semester doesn't mean you should get one this year. Sometimes an instructor will grant a request for an independent study, but they should not nor should they be asked to make it a regular occurrence. I have been teaching an independent study each semester since I arrived here and I'm taking a break. Please stop asking and then giving me a nasty look when I tell you I'm not offering one next semester.
Thanks, bye.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Proof that all good things come from Italy
1. Do you love Shakira? Have you read Verga's version of "La lupa"? Susannah thinks maybe Shakira should have done a little more research before making that song.
2. Do you love carbs? All the good ones come from Italy!
3. Do you love art? Where else can you see all the masterpieces in one place?!
4. Do you love fashion? Hello.
5. Do you enjoy food? All the best food comes from Italy. And if they didn't invent it they take it and make it better. Best chinese food I've ever had? In Italy. Best pasta? In Italy. Best tomatoes? IN ITALY!
6. Do you love America because it's a cultural melting pot? Guess who was first?
7. Do you love cars, reading, music, opera, religion, beaches, mountains, drama? Guess where you can find the best of all of it? ITALY!!!!!!!!
2. Do you love carbs? All the good ones come from Italy!
3. Do you love art? Where else can you see all the masterpieces in one place?!
4. Do you love fashion? Hello.
5. Do you enjoy food? All the best food comes from Italy. And if they didn't invent it they take it and make it better. Best chinese food I've ever had? In Italy. Best pasta? In Italy. Best tomatoes? IN ITALY!
6. Do you love America because it's a cultural melting pot? Guess who was first?
7. Do you love cars, reading, music, opera, religion, beaches, mountains, drama? Guess where you can find the best of all of it? ITALY!!!!!!!!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Academia is survivor on steroids
Heading to the end of my second full year in academia, I've made some realizations.
1. Academia is survivor on steroids. One wrong move and you can get thrown off the island in a matter of seconds. There are alliances (secret and public) all over the place and after the first year, you have to start networking and figuring out who has power and who has weight. Everyone is struggling for the same resources and the same money so finding out how to get some of those resources and funding sent toward your department is a strategic nightmare.
2. The harder you work, the more work you get. I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing.....I supposed it's all about how you get rated on your evaluation.
3. Bookshelves are a hot commodity. I don't have enough of them and I don't know anyone around here who does. I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking they'd be a good bargaining tool.....I might start hoarding them and exchanging them for.....well I don't know what I'd exchange them for. Classroom space? Extra ink cartridges? Chalk? Haven't figured that part out yet.
4. Office hours mean nothing. Students write them down and then promptly lose them. Or ignore them all together. And they never work for people......so why do we even schedule them? It's probably best to say that all office hours are by appointment only.
5. If we were paid by the hour, we'd all be millionaires. I don't know exactly how many hours I work each week, but it's somewhere between 50 and 80. While I'm at school I think I actually get LESS work done than when I'm at home. The reading, grading, planning, grading, reading, grading, planning, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading usually takes place at home. How awesome would it be if I actually got paid hourly for all of that?! And for study abroad? If we were paid hourly for those 24 hours a day for 5 weeks? Maybe someday.
1. Academia is survivor on steroids. One wrong move and you can get thrown off the island in a matter of seconds. There are alliances (secret and public) all over the place and after the first year, you have to start networking and figuring out who has power and who has weight. Everyone is struggling for the same resources and the same money so finding out how to get some of those resources and funding sent toward your department is a strategic nightmare.
2. The harder you work, the more work you get. I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing.....I supposed it's all about how you get rated on your evaluation.
3. Bookshelves are a hot commodity. I don't have enough of them and I don't know anyone around here who does. I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking they'd be a good bargaining tool.....I might start hoarding them and exchanging them for.....well I don't know what I'd exchange them for. Classroom space? Extra ink cartridges? Chalk? Haven't figured that part out yet.
4. Office hours mean nothing. Students write them down and then promptly lose them. Or ignore them all together. And they never work for people......so why do we even schedule them? It's probably best to say that all office hours are by appointment only.
5. If we were paid by the hour, we'd all be millionaires. I don't know exactly how many hours I work each week, but it's somewhere between 50 and 80. While I'm at school I think I actually get LESS work done than when I'm at home. The reading, grading, planning, grading, reading, grading, planning, grading, grading, grading, grading, grading usually takes place at home. How awesome would it be if I actually got paid hourly for all of that?! And for study abroad? If we were paid hourly for those 24 hours a day for 5 weeks? Maybe someday.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Il circolo dello spagnolo
This blog is dedicated to Ciccio Morphew.
While I love my job, teaching at a public university comes with a set of rules that don't apply at a private university. Turns out I was a little spoiled since my first teaching gig happened to be at a very prestigious private school.....and no one cared if I threw chalk for made studies eskimo kiss the chalk board.
Here's the deal: I have bad aim (hence the swimming career) and can't actually hit anything I aim for. Therefore, it was never a problem that I routinely threw chalk "at" students who were engaging in inappropriate behavior (sleeping, texting, chatting, staring blankly out of the window, etc). I never hit them. The wall on the far side of the room however, probably hated me. I haven't really tried it.....but I'm guessing that might not go over well in public school.
I also used to use the CIRCOLO DELLO SPAGNOLO and I'm considering bringing it back. And adding the TRIANGOLO DEL FRANCESE. Here's how it works: when a students insists on using another language in my classroom, they get to place their nose inside the circle on the board until they're pretty sure they will no longer refer to the pope as a potato. Many of my current students are adding French to their repertoire and it's making its way into my Italian kingdom. I don't like it.
Please vote in the poll: All in favor of the reinstatement of the CIRCOLO DELLO SPAGNOLO/TRIANGOLO DEL FRANCESE say yes!
While I love my job, teaching at a public university comes with a set of rules that don't apply at a private university. Turns out I was a little spoiled since my first teaching gig happened to be at a very prestigious private school.....and no one cared if I threw chalk for made studies eskimo kiss the chalk board.
Here's the deal: I have bad aim (hence the swimming career) and can't actually hit anything I aim for. Therefore, it was never a problem that I routinely threw chalk "at" students who were engaging in inappropriate behavior (sleeping, texting, chatting, staring blankly out of the window, etc). I never hit them. The wall on the far side of the room however, probably hated me. I haven't really tried it.....but I'm guessing that might not go over well in public school.
I also used to use the CIRCOLO DELLO SPAGNOLO and I'm considering bringing it back. And adding the TRIANGOLO DEL FRANCESE. Here's how it works: when a students insists on using another language in my classroom, they get to place their nose inside the circle on the board until they're pretty sure they will no longer refer to the pope as a potato. Many of my current students are adding French to their repertoire and it's making its way into my Italian kingdom. I don't like it.
Please vote in the poll: All in favor of the reinstatement of the CIRCOLO DELLO SPAGNOLO/TRIANGOLO DEL FRANCESE say yes!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Yet another list of things I don't believe in. And neither should you.
It turns out that a lot of time people think I'm kidding when I say things. I rarely say something I don't mean....and if I do, you'll know because I'll say "just kidding." Having said so, here are another few things I don't believe in (and that are somehow still surprising to people).
1. Wal-Mart. Why is this so hard to believe? Even my students have figured out that I should be the SuperTarget spokesmodel. Pretty much everything I own comes from SuperTarget and I NEVER go into Wal-Mart. I don't even like the parking lot!
2. Parking lot stop signs. They're stupid and the only three accidents I've ever been in (knock on wood....and none of which were my fault) happened in parking lots because stupid people get more stupid in small confined areas.
3. Naps. I realize that the smarter people in the world incorporate naps into their daily lives (see Italians) but they just don't work for me. I can't go to sleep quickly and I won't wake up after 20 minutes of "power sleep." If I take a nap, I'll be out for at least four hours and what's the point of wasting that much of my day? I'd rather drink a coke and keep going.
4. Black ink. If given any choice, I will never write in black ink. I don't think that's weird at all, I don't understand why other people do. I am also loyal to pens. I carry around the same pen and will use only that pen until all of the ink is gone. Again, this is not weird....it's common sense. Why would you have twenty-seven half used ink pens rolling around the bottom of your purse when you could have one pen and always know where it is?
5. Baths. Gross. Why would you purposefully sit in a tub of your own filth and skin cells? What is relaxing about that?
6. Putting my head in the ocean or entering a lake at all. I've been spending the summers in Cefalù for close to seven, eight years now. I think I've put my head under water three times. And that was all last summer. Fish poop in the ocean and beach goers pee in it. At least the ocean sort of self cleans itself. Lakes do not. I don't even know if I've ever been in a lake. Stagnant brown water doesn't do it for me. I love chlorine.
7. Jumping on the fad boat. If you know me at all you'll know I prefer things vintage (read I don't get on board with things until they've been around for a while and everyone else has moved onto to something else).
8. Flourescent lighting. Joe versus the volcano anyone?
9. Stupid games. My life is too busy for me to spend time indulging you in stupid mind games. Either own up to the fact that you're scheming to get something or don't (I don't really care) but don't play stupid games and be wishy washy. It's annoying and it wastes my time.
10. Powdered eggs. Don't ever eat eggs on an airplane. In what world do you think adding water to a yellowish powder produces a naturally occurring substance?
So ladies and gents, hopefully next time you won't shriek in horror the next time I drive right through some meaningless parking lot stop sign or drive 34 miles out of my way to go to SuperTarget instead of Wal-Mart. This is my world. Welcome. Passwords will be distributed at the next meeting.
1. Wal-Mart. Why is this so hard to believe? Even my students have figured out that I should be the SuperTarget spokesmodel. Pretty much everything I own comes from SuperTarget and I NEVER go into Wal-Mart. I don't even like the parking lot!
2. Parking lot stop signs. They're stupid and the only three accidents I've ever been in (knock on wood....and none of which were my fault) happened in parking lots because stupid people get more stupid in small confined areas.
3. Naps. I realize that the smarter people in the world incorporate naps into their daily lives (see Italians) but they just don't work for me. I can't go to sleep quickly and I won't wake up after 20 minutes of "power sleep." If I take a nap, I'll be out for at least four hours and what's the point of wasting that much of my day? I'd rather drink a coke and keep going.
4. Black ink. If given any choice, I will never write in black ink. I don't think that's weird at all, I don't understand why other people do. I am also loyal to pens. I carry around the same pen and will use only that pen until all of the ink is gone. Again, this is not weird....it's common sense. Why would you have twenty-seven half used ink pens rolling around the bottom of your purse when you could have one pen and always know where it is?
5. Baths. Gross. Why would you purposefully sit in a tub of your own filth and skin cells? What is relaxing about that?
6. Putting my head in the ocean or entering a lake at all. I've been spending the summers in Cefalù for close to seven, eight years now. I think I've put my head under water three times. And that was all last summer. Fish poop in the ocean and beach goers pee in it. At least the ocean sort of self cleans itself. Lakes do not. I don't even know if I've ever been in a lake. Stagnant brown water doesn't do it for me. I love chlorine.
7. Jumping on the fad boat. If you know me at all you'll know I prefer things vintage (read I don't get on board with things until they've been around for a while and everyone else has moved onto to something else).
8. Flourescent lighting. Joe versus the volcano anyone?
9. Stupid games. My life is too busy for me to spend time indulging you in stupid mind games. Either own up to the fact that you're scheming to get something or don't (I don't really care) but don't play stupid games and be wishy washy. It's annoying and it wastes my time.
10. Powdered eggs. Don't ever eat eggs on an airplane. In what world do you think adding water to a yellowish powder produces a naturally occurring substance?
So ladies and gents, hopefully next time you won't shriek in horror the next time I drive right through some meaningless parking lot stop sign or drive 34 miles out of my way to go to SuperTarget instead of Wal-Mart. This is my world. Welcome. Passwords will be distributed at the next meeting.
Friday, March 18, 2011
The big CH
This week is Spring Break and I spent four days of it in Chapel Hill trying to get my dissertation director and committee on board with a May defense date. The good news is that they’re all for it! Therefore, starting on May 4 I will only answer to doctor. It was a really fun week, I got to spend time with all of my favorite Chapel Hill peeps: Maureen and Tim, Katie, Carrie, Michele, Abby and Jim, Jake. Good times all the way around. While there was a bit of socializing that happened on this trip, there was a lot of business that had to get done as well. Overall I’d say there were three standout moments.
1. The meeting with Federico Luisetti: Professor Luisetti is my dissertation director (and just so you can visualize, he also looks exactly like Harry Potter). The real point of this trip was to meet with him and it’s always a little daunting to think about a meeting like this since the man is so smart I usually only understand about a quarter of what he says. This time I understood a good four fifths and I’m pretty sure that last little bit was because I just didn’t realize he was switching between English and Italian and I missed the English stuff. Anyway, when I walked into his office, he was all smiles and happy to see me. He very quickly revealed that he was google earthing Denton, TX and was excited by the fact that north Texas has lots of trees and lakes. Then we talked a little bit about what I’ve been doing since I left UNC in May 2009 and again, he was very happy to hear my stories. Then, it was time to get down to business. The bottom line is that he’s pretty happy with the trajectory I’m on (whew!) and thinks that the major changes are in expanding on some ideas and reorganizing thoughts. This is all good since my biggest fear was that he was just going to say, “Sorry, but there’s no way you will be able to graduate with this piece of crap.” So, he sent me on my way with some good notes and even wrote me a little motivational phrase on the final page of my conclusion.
2. The meeting with Dino Cervigni: Dino Cervigni is the scariest man in the history of UNC Italian. If you are in his good graces he can make your career. If you are not, I have no doubt that he has to the power to ruin someone for life (although I really can’t see him doing that). I met with him today for a coffee and came out of the meeting with 3 hugs, a free cup of coffee, praise for my new job, compliments on my Italian and the holy grail: “Oh Jessica, you have accomplished quite a lot in five years.” (Just so you know, if my plane crashed on my way back to Dallas, this better be the first thing that comes up in my eulogy: Dino Cervigni approves, Jessica has accomplished a lot in the last five years.) Another shining moment would be when he complimented my bibliographical skills and was impressed by the fact that I was up to date on some of the most recent MLA style changes. Great way to end a quick “business” trip to the big CH.
3. The meeting of the bird with my ankle: The one not so great moment took place yesterday morning when A BIRD FLEW INTO MY ANKLE AND KILLED ITSELF! Yup, that’s right! I was very calmly walking across the quad to the Undergrad library to check my email and some little sparrow was chasing another one. I’m not sure if it was the chaser or the chasee but one made it between my legs and the other one ran RIGHT INTO MY ANKLEBONE! And drew blood…..so if I start foaming at the mouth, this is probably why. Originally I thought it kept going, but when I turned around, the little things was splayed out on its back on the sidewalk. I didn’t know what to do so I kept walking, thinking maybe it just knocked itself out. Unfortunately, an hour later when I walked back by, the stupid little guy was still laying there. Hopefully he died on impact and didn’t suffer. The same cannot be said for my poor ankle which has a scratch and a rather painful bruise on the inside of my right ankle.
Overall, it was a great trip. I wish I would have gotten to see everyone, but there was so much to take care of and so little time that there just wasn’t time for everything. The good news is that I’ll be back in a few weeks for my defense (everyone send positive energy for May 3) and then there will be a big party…..in honor of Dr. Jessica!
Friday, March 11, 2011
10 things teachers love to hear the day before Spring Break
1. Why did we have to have class today? My other ones were cancelled.
Congratulations! You'll be one day less smart in that subject.
2. Why did you schedule the midterm for today?!
I didn't, but the Texas snow cancelled an entire week of coursework....so, unless you want to work through Spring Break, you'll take it today and thank me for it.
3. I could have been on vacation already.
Yes, you could be on vacation on any day. Remember than I have 120 students.....how much do you think I like hearing this repeated 120 times?
4. Why do teachers always make us work on the last day before vacation?
Uh.....are you aware you're in college? Did you think we just sat around blowing spit bubbles?
5. Do we have homework over Spring Break?
Do you know how to read a syllabus?
6. Can we not have homework over Spring Break?
Sure. But be prepared to do two weeks worth of work in one when you come back.
7. Why is Spring Break only a week?
Do you realize how much you will forget over a week and I'll have to reteach you? Any more and we might as well start all over again.
8. My other professor cancelled class on Friday. Do you think I can ask him if I can leave early on Thursday?
Yes, your professor will love that. We love it when we give you an inch and you try to take seventy-six miles.
9. Vacation is vacation! We shouldn't have homework.
Fine, then don't complain every other day since you're not on vacation.
10. I so need this vacation.
Right.....it's all about you. I don't need a break at all, teaching is all rainbows and sunshine all the time. That's why we have so many wonderful teachers in the world!
Congratulations! You'll be one day less smart in that subject.
2. Why did you schedule the midterm for today?!
I didn't, but the Texas snow cancelled an entire week of coursework....so, unless you want to work through Spring Break, you'll take it today and thank me for it.
3. I could have been on vacation already.
Yes, you could be on vacation on any day. Remember than I have 120 students.....how much do you think I like hearing this repeated 120 times?
4. Why do teachers always make us work on the last day before vacation?
Uh.....are you aware you're in college? Did you think we just sat around blowing spit bubbles?
5. Do we have homework over Spring Break?
Do you know how to read a syllabus?
6. Can we not have homework over Spring Break?
Sure. But be prepared to do two weeks worth of work in one when you come back.
7. Why is Spring Break only a week?
Do you realize how much you will forget over a week and I'll have to reteach you? Any more and we might as well start all over again.
8. My other professor cancelled class on Friday. Do you think I can ask him if I can leave early on Thursday?
Yes, your professor will love that. We love it when we give you an inch and you try to take seventy-six miles.
9. Vacation is vacation! We shouldn't have homework.
Fine, then don't complain every other day since you're not on vacation.
10. I so need this vacation.
Right.....it's all about you. I don't need a break at all, teaching is all rainbows and sunshine all the time. That's why we have so many wonderful teachers in the world!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Obviously I'm a superhero
It seems that this semester I have developed a series of superpowers......but they are not as appealing as they might initially appear.
1. Invisibility - This must be why people have started ignoring me, not listening to me, and pretending I don't exist.
2. Invincibility - This must be why people think it's ok to screw with things they have no business messing with.....because they think I'll just bounce right back from it.
3. Super-sensory hearing - It's amazing what I've heard this semester. I've heard good things and a lost of bad things......and most of it I just picked up as is drifted through my open office door.
4. No need to sleep - God forbid I should sleep! There's a dissertation to be finished, courses to be proposed, committees to be worked on, evaluations to be completed, book reviews to be written, textbook reviews to be administered, papers to be graded, and 80 million emails to be answered.
5. Unending focus - Clearly this is why I have 10 thousand things flying at me at all moments of the day. It's also why at any given moment I have between two and six different windows open on my computer, while I work on my email on my phone and talk on speaker phone at the same time.
I know, I'm a pretty big deal. You want to be me, right? Yup.....I didn't think so.
1. Invisibility - This must be why people have started ignoring me, not listening to me, and pretending I don't exist.
2. Invincibility - This must be why people think it's ok to screw with things they have no business messing with.....because they think I'll just bounce right back from it.
3. Super-sensory hearing - It's amazing what I've heard this semester. I've heard good things and a lost of bad things......and most of it I just picked up as is drifted through my open office door.
4. No need to sleep - God forbid I should sleep! There's a dissertation to be finished, courses to be proposed, committees to be worked on, evaluations to be completed, book reviews to be written, textbook reviews to be administered, papers to be graded, and 80 million emails to be answered.
5. Unending focus - Clearly this is why I have 10 thousand things flying at me at all moments of the day. It's also why at any given moment I have between two and six different windows open on my computer, while I work on my email on my phone and talk on speaker phone at the same time.
I know, I'm a pretty big deal. You want to be me, right? Yup.....I didn't think so.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Life's simples pleasures.....and LOST
Today was one of those days where I had very few things to do and expected that a few hours in the office would be sufficient to accomplish them. Well, surprise, welcome to my life. Nothing ever works like that. I accomplished one thing on my list of five and then twelve other things that popped up out of nowhere. Honestly, I don't even know why I bother planning my time. IT NEVER WORKS OUT! However, I realized that I did get to indulge in some of my favorite simple pleasures.
1. Crossing so many things off of your to-do list that you get to make a new one - and add the new 12 things you need to do.
2. Getting in the car and it's the perfect temperature and you don't need AC or heat.
3. Eating the perfect amount of dinner so your tummy doesn't hurt because it's so full but you aren't still hungry. And you have the perfect amount of leftovers for tomorrow's perfectly portioned dinner.
4. Being able to find exactly what you need out of a book by finding it in the table of contents and not wasting time reading pages and pages of crap that doesn't matter.
5. Coca-cola classic.
In other news I have discovered LOST. Yes, I know it's late.....but whatever, I don't believe in fads. I get on board when things are retro and charmingly vintage. Here are my thoughts on LOST: I would never make it on an island unless Sayid was there to protect me, and the rest of the creepy crazies would probably just annoy me. So far I think I like it, but I mean, hello! This is so Hollywood! Despite that, the part that really bothers me the most are these three things:
1. Those actors were forced to be sweaty and wet and in dirty clothes and rolling around in the dirt for SEVEN SEASONS!!! I know they were paid millions and they got to live in Hawaii, but gross. They probably had dirty fingernails for years!
2. Maggie Grace. She's an annoying character, her facial expressions are disturbing and her legs bend funny. I just saw the episode where she slept with her step brother the other day and now she was shot by the other most annoying person on the planet (Michelle Rodriguez - I hate her in everything I see her in) after Sayid professed his love for her. Drama.
3. Harold Perrineau's character Michael (and his kid). The fist time I saw Harold was in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet.....he played Mercutio (anyone remember?). He was amazing. Since then, he's always been Mercutio in my mind and I definitely picture him either in drag or declaring himself a "grave man" (obviously the best double entendre ever written, way to go Shakespeare). In the show he's an annoying single dad who "inherits" his son after his not-so-nice-never-wife dies unexpectedly. The kid is horrific, and yes I know that's part of his character, but did they tell him to leave his mouth hanging open all the time? And now he's creepy because he keeps appearing to people dripping wet in the jungle.
Anyway, I'm on season 2 and I think I'm about 70% on board with the show. It's starting to get pretty out there and I've heard it gets worse......but we shall see.
1. Crossing so many things off of your to-do list that you get to make a new one - and add the new 12 things you need to do.
2. Getting in the car and it's the perfect temperature and you don't need AC or heat.
3. Eating the perfect amount of dinner so your tummy doesn't hurt because it's so full but you aren't still hungry. And you have the perfect amount of leftovers for tomorrow's perfectly portioned dinner.
4. Being able to find exactly what you need out of a book by finding it in the table of contents and not wasting time reading pages and pages of crap that doesn't matter.
5. Coca-cola classic.
In other news I have discovered LOST. Yes, I know it's late.....but whatever, I don't believe in fads. I get on board when things are retro and charmingly vintage. Here are my thoughts on LOST: I would never make it on an island unless Sayid was there to protect me, and the rest of the creepy crazies would probably just annoy me. So far I think I like it, but I mean, hello! This is so Hollywood! Despite that, the part that really bothers me the most are these three things:
1. Those actors were forced to be sweaty and wet and in dirty clothes and rolling around in the dirt for SEVEN SEASONS!!! I know they were paid millions and they got to live in Hawaii, but gross. They probably had dirty fingernails for years!
2. Maggie Grace. She's an annoying character, her facial expressions are disturbing and her legs bend funny. I just saw the episode where she slept with her step brother the other day and now she was shot by the other most annoying person on the planet (Michelle Rodriguez - I hate her in everything I see her in) after Sayid professed his love for her. Drama.
3. Harold Perrineau's character Michael (and his kid). The fist time I saw Harold was in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet.....he played Mercutio (anyone remember?). He was amazing. Since then, he's always been Mercutio in my mind and I definitely picture him either in drag or declaring himself a "grave man" (obviously the best double entendre ever written, way to go Shakespeare). In the show he's an annoying single dad who "inherits" his son after his not-so-nice-never-wife dies unexpectedly. The kid is horrific, and yes I know that's part of his character, but did they tell him to leave his mouth hanging open all the time? And now he's creepy because he keeps appearing to people dripping wet in the jungle.
Anyway, I'm on season 2 and I think I'm about 70% on board with the show. It's starting to get pretty out there and I've heard it gets worse......but we shall see.
Monday, March 7, 2011
On picking your reality show
I'm watching the Bachelor reunion and I have some thoughts. I am constantly in awe of these crazy ladies who think that they will find love after 3 half dates with 25 other ladies on the Bachelor. I mean, really, how long do they actually know each other? 5 days and then even if you are picked you have to hide it for like three months. OF COURSE IT NEVER WORKS OUT! Have any of them worked out? No.....in fact this Bachelor is back for his second time! Obviously there is a vital flaw in the premise of the show! Anyway, in the world according to Jessica, here are some rules that should be considered when selecting your reality show.
1. Ladies, when picking your reality show, consider what you're being asked to do. Do you really think that leaving your life for some period of days week or months to "fall in love" alongside 30 other women is how you're going to find your soulmate?
2. If you're not a designer, why would you go on a show like Project Runway. All you've done is secured your place in the gossip columns as a fake and wannabe.
3. If you're on a show that has a confessional, everything you say in there will be broadcast (and cut to be even worse) to the entire world. Don't bash your cast mates because they will come after you at the reunion special.
4. If you're not friends with someone, don't preach that you are. The world is well aware that all of these women on the Real Housewives series were not friends before the show. Stop trying to fake a history together!
5. If you're problem was paying your mortgage and your house fell into ruins and then they came and redid your house......what makes you think you will suddenly have money to pay your mortgage? All that's changing is that people will now take pictures of your house and open those collections letters.
1. Ladies, when picking your reality show, consider what you're being asked to do. Do you really think that leaving your life for some period of days week or months to "fall in love" alongside 30 other women is how you're going to find your soulmate?
2. If you're not a designer, why would you go on a show like Project Runway. All you've done is secured your place in the gossip columns as a fake and wannabe.
3. If you're on a show that has a confessional, everything you say in there will be broadcast (and cut to be even worse) to the entire world. Don't bash your cast mates because they will come after you at the reunion special.
4. If you're not friends with someone, don't preach that you are. The world is well aware that all of these women on the Real Housewives series were not friends before the show. Stop trying to fake a history together!
5. If you're problem was paying your mortgage and your house fell into ruins and then they came and redid your house......what makes you think you will suddenly have money to pay your mortgage? All that's changing is that people will now take pictures of your house and open those collections letters.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Why I hate my office
While I love the idea of an office, there are a few reasons I hate the one I have. Overall I'm glad to have a place to come to everyday (and one with a door in case I need to pretend I'm not here) but.....this little lovely leaves a few things to be desired. As I sit here today on a insert appropriate weather description here Saturday afternoon, here are a few observations.
1. I wish I had a window. On days like today, or when my colleagues across the hall are not in, I have no idea what the outside world looks like. I never know it it's sunny, snowy, windy.....if it weren't for the clock on the computer I might end up in here for days on end because I just didn't know nighttime had arrived.
2. I really like my colleagues, but two desks for three people isn't quite enough. I'm lucky that I get my own, but I feel bad for my less than full time colleagues who are forced to share space, a computer, and the resources we are given. I suppose, however, we are lucky to have an Italian office and can at least share a common language and common students in here.
3. I don't have enough bookshelves and I can't find anymore. Publishers keep sending books, I keep bringing books from home, I store all of my notebooks of lesson plans here and the space is very limited. I know the world is going digital, but us academics love our hard copies. Where am I supposed to put them?
4. There are two plugs and a wad of wires on the floor. At least once a week I trip over the many different cords in this office. The computer stuff is plugged in on one side of the room (but of course the ethernet plug in is on the other side of the room) and the phone is plugged in on that side, but the phone plug itself is on the other. Therefore, there are ugly grey cords running all over the place.
5. Flourescent lighting. I made the realization that bringing in lamps from home would help, but they also go through lightbulbs faster than the death rays coming from the ceiling.
Why didn't I pick one of those professions where they give you a big corner office with walls made out of windows? I don't even think we have one of those on this campus.
1. I wish I had a window. On days like today, or when my colleagues across the hall are not in, I have no idea what the outside world looks like. I never know it it's sunny, snowy, windy.....if it weren't for the clock on the computer I might end up in here for days on end because I just didn't know nighttime had arrived.
2. I really like my colleagues, but two desks for three people isn't quite enough. I'm lucky that I get my own, but I feel bad for my less than full time colleagues who are forced to share space, a computer, and the resources we are given. I suppose, however, we are lucky to have an Italian office and can at least share a common language and common students in here.
3. I don't have enough bookshelves and I can't find anymore. Publishers keep sending books, I keep bringing books from home, I store all of my notebooks of lesson plans here and the space is very limited. I know the world is going digital, but us academics love our hard copies. Where am I supposed to put them?
4. There are two plugs and a wad of wires on the floor. At least once a week I trip over the many different cords in this office. The computer stuff is plugged in on one side of the room (but of course the ethernet plug in is on the other side of the room) and the phone is plugged in on that side, but the phone plug itself is on the other. Therefore, there are ugly grey cords running all over the place.
5. Flourescent lighting. I made the realization that bringing in lamps from home would help, but they also go through lightbulbs faster than the death rays coming from the ceiling.
Why didn't I pick one of those professions where they give you a big corner office with walls made out of windows? I don't even think we have one of those on this campus.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
An open letter to Bravo TV
Dear Bravo TV,
I am quite possibly your biggest fan. All those ratings you're getting...they are from me. I am the type of viewer that will watch reruns of the Real Housewives of insert city here even if i have already seen it ten times. I will even watch the cities I don't like. Our TV is always set to Bravo TV and it rarely moves from it. Sometimes I even go on your website and read the blogs from Top Chefs or Real Estate California boys.
Granted you have some real quality programming, I think you may have gone a little too far with the Real Housewives series. DC was boring and your teaser lead up to nothing with that whole White House dinner scandal. Beverly Hills was ok, but can't even hold a candle to the original OC ladies. Miami is boring so far and mamma cubana is really scaring me a bit. I appreciate that you latched onto a good thing, but it's time to let go.
I see that you've replaced some of your programming with new shows: some pregnancy show that looks questionable and Bethenny's new show, which could be promising. But my dear Bravo TV, you're missing the boat! If you want reality drama (real or scripted) you need to come follow me around! I had enough drama this week (and it's only Thursday mind you) to fill an entire season with TV gold! And tomorrow will be better because I'm pretty sure my colleagues are going to be on fire, we will meet with our superiors (always fun to watch) and then Laetitia and I are going for drinks! That's a four parter right there! WHY HAVE YOU NOT PICKED UP MY SHOW YET?!?!?!?!?! I can be just as funny/quirky/odd as Bethenny. Do I need to start branding the heck out of my life before I'll get a second look?
Anxiously awaiting your call,
Jessica, your biggest fan.
I am quite possibly your biggest fan. All those ratings you're getting...they are from me. I am the type of viewer that will watch reruns of the Real Housewives of insert city here even if i have already seen it ten times. I will even watch the cities I don't like. Our TV is always set to Bravo TV and it rarely moves from it. Sometimes I even go on your website and read the blogs from Top Chefs or Real Estate California boys.
Granted you have some real quality programming, I think you may have gone a little too far with the Real Housewives series. DC was boring and your teaser lead up to nothing with that whole White House dinner scandal. Beverly Hills was ok, but can't even hold a candle to the original OC ladies. Miami is boring so far and mamma cubana is really scaring me a bit. I appreciate that you latched onto a good thing, but it's time to let go.
I see that you've replaced some of your programming with new shows: some pregnancy show that looks questionable and Bethenny's new show, which could be promising. But my dear Bravo TV, you're missing the boat! If you want reality drama (real or scripted) you need to come follow me around! I had enough drama this week (and it's only Thursday mind you) to fill an entire season with TV gold! And tomorrow will be better because I'm pretty sure my colleagues are going to be on fire, we will meet with our superiors (always fun to watch) and then Laetitia and I are going for drinks! That's a four parter right there! WHY HAVE YOU NOT PICKED UP MY SHOW YET?!?!?!?!?! I can be just as funny/quirky/odd as Bethenny. Do I need to start branding the heck out of my life before I'll get a second look?
Anxiously awaiting your call,
Jessica, your biggest fan.
This is how you know you're going insane
1. You tell someone that you're deadline is April 1. They respond with: No problem, I know we can get everything done by early May.
2. You read a memo that says you'll receive items A, B and C. When you receive your packet you've received D, Q and Y. When you ask where items A, B and C the response is: what do you mean? We just gave you item P.
3. You go to office on your day off to complete one minor task and you should be in and out in about two hours. When you grab your purse and turn off your computer 6 hours have mysteriously disappeared from your life and you never even got around to that minor task.
4. You and your trusty "secretary" seem to be the only ones that can understand the paperwork that is fairly straightforward. And instead of asking for clarification, people just decide to ignore the rules and make stuff up.....and not consult you at all but yell at you about it later.
5. After following the rules, doing your job, and doing it well people get upset and set out to ruin you. Why? I'm not really clear....
Anyway, if you start suffering these symptoms, congratulations, you're going crazy and you're on your way to coockooland. When you get here join me! I'm at the big table in the back corner.
2. You read a memo that says you'll receive items A, B and C. When you receive your packet you've received D, Q and Y. When you ask where items A, B and C the response is: what do you mean? We just gave you item P.
3. You go to office on your day off to complete one minor task and you should be in and out in about two hours. When you grab your purse and turn off your computer 6 hours have mysteriously disappeared from your life and you never even got around to that minor task.
4. You and your trusty "secretary" seem to be the only ones that can understand the paperwork that is fairly straightforward. And instead of asking for clarification, people just decide to ignore the rules and make stuff up.....and not consult you at all but yell at you about it later.
5. After following the rules, doing your job, and doing it well people get upset and set out to ruin you. Why? I'm not really clear....
Anyway, if you start suffering these symptoms, congratulations, you're going crazy and you're on your way to coockooland. When you get here join me! I'm at the big table in the back corner.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
How is that you're even alive?
Do you ever have days where you look around and it seems like common sense has made a quick exit from the world and everyone is just wandering aimlessly making ridiculous claims, asking inappropriate questions, and holding you to completely inappropriate expectations? I had one of those days, and it seems like several of the people I had to deal with today have just lost all of their common sense. When that happens it makes me wonder how those people are even alive. Like how do they know not to wander into the middle of a busy highway but don't know that asking me (the Italian professor) about the Arabic study abroad program just doesn't make any sense? And how do they remember to feed and bathe themselves, but can't remember that you have to show up to class and do the homework to receive a good grade? Or how do they know that it's not appropriate to ask about a professor's personal life, but don't realize that it's not necessarily appropriate to broadcast their roommate's personal life in the middle of my class? Come on! These are life skills people, some people have them and some people don't. If you don't, I'm sorry but you are probably going to die some ridiculously tragic death because you forgot and wandered into the street. So, here's my recommendation, use the common sense that you were born with. I know you can do it.
In other news, I have solved (actually Marina and Katie solved it) the mystery of the miscommunication about my graduation stuff. And here it is: someone removed me from the departmental email list.....so that form I didn't fill out? The one I got yelled at for "forgetting." The one that I was informed went out in an email and I spent the weekend wracking my brain to figure out how I could have ignored and deleted such an important email? I NEVER GOT IT! Yup, that's right.....the universal balance is back in place: Jessica was right, and he who decided to call me out on my forgetfulness was wrong. Haha! Of course I knew it would turn out like that somehow. Why you ask? Here's why: I am INCREDIBLY forgetful....but I'm also well aware of that fact and know very well that I write everything down on one of my 20 million sticky notes, or if it's really important I put it in the calendar of my phone and then I get a reminder 5, 10, and 30 minutes before I'm supposed to do something. Don't you think that my doctoral graduation might have been something that warranted a reminder? I mean, did you really think I'd forget about it? Probably not. I'm not one of those over achievers who will get two masters degrees, three PhDs and an MD so my 3 lovely letters and they will be my most important accomplishment....and have and will be my obsession until this whole process is over.
I try to be open-minded and forgiving, but sometimes people make it so hard! Ah! It was one of those days where I feel like I was airlifted out of normal world and set smack dab in the middle of the island of no common sense. But tomorrow is another day....stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have another evil rant for tomorrow's events.
In other news, I have solved (actually Marina and Katie solved it) the mystery of the miscommunication about my graduation stuff. And here it is: someone removed me from the departmental email list.....so that form I didn't fill out? The one I got yelled at for "forgetting." The one that I was informed went out in an email and I spent the weekend wracking my brain to figure out how I could have ignored and deleted such an important email? I NEVER GOT IT! Yup, that's right.....the universal balance is back in place: Jessica was right, and he who decided to call me out on my forgetfulness was wrong. Haha! Of course I knew it would turn out like that somehow. Why you ask? Here's why: I am INCREDIBLY forgetful....but I'm also well aware of that fact and know very well that I write everything down on one of my 20 million sticky notes, or if it's really important I put it in the calendar of my phone and then I get a reminder 5, 10, and 30 minutes before I'm supposed to do something. Don't you think that my doctoral graduation might have been something that warranted a reminder? I mean, did you really think I'd forget about it? Probably not. I'm not one of those over achievers who will get two masters degrees, three PhDs and an MD so my 3 lovely letters and they will be my most important accomplishment....and have and will be my obsession until this whole process is over.
I try to be open-minded and forgiving, but sometimes people make it so hard! Ah! It was one of those days where I feel like I was airlifted out of normal world and set smack dab in the middle of the island of no common sense. But tomorrow is another day....stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have another evil rant for tomorrow's events.
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