Higher education is not for the faint of heart

Very shortly I will have another three letters after my name (PhD).  I'm currently working with two (MA) but I've realized that the closer I get to being Dr. Jessica, the more it's taking on my part to keep it together. Why you ask?  Well, it turns out that higher education is not for the faint of heart.  The more years of schooling, the more publications, the more letters after your name, the more it freaks people out.  And people are weird.  REALLY weird.  Rather than realizing that PhDs are people too, they lash out against them in different ways.

Weird lash out scenario #1
Although I work in an academic setting (where experience and success should be revered much more than number of publications and years in school) some people cannot handle it when their colleagues "out school" them.  Often times this is manifested though hostility and secret conspiracy against said faculty member.

Weird lash out scenario #2
Many boys cannot handle a girl that has more schooling then them which can, in certain cases, cause a lovely young lady to hide what she should be most proud of.  Here's the thing: the percentage of boys that can handle an educated girl is very slim.....but you should still own your accomplishments.  Kick him to the curb if he can't handle it.  And to rub it in use a big word, he'll hate it and it will make a great story later.

Weird lash out scenario #3
The world of academia is basically a feudal kingdom. Most people are surfs, but there are a few who get to rise to the ruling class (and just because you might have lots of letters after your name does NOT mean you get an automatic pass to the royal court).  Obviously, we all know that everyone's goal is to be like the guy in Gladiator and go from slave to potential overthrower of the emperor.  However, one must always keep in mind that the "ruling class" is always afraid that the surfs will rise up and rebel and often impose restrictions which make it difficult to rise gracefully through the ranks.

Weird lash out scenario #4
The layperson may find you "over educated and under socialized."  Someone somewhere along the line told someone else that PhDs have spent too much time researching and too little time learning to function successfully in society.  Well, perhaps.  But most of us do just fine, so please get over yourself.

Weird lash out scenario #5
People think you're lying.  Listen, is it my fault I'm smart and a fast processor?  I'm certainly not the youngest person to ever receive a PhD so please, please with sugar on top stop telling me I'm too young to have a PhD.  I assure you I'm not.  Just because you couldn't do this doesn't mean I can't.  And guess what?  I did.  And I did it well.  And without ever showing up to class in my pajamas......so ya, I'm awesome.  You're going to have to learn to live with it because I'm only going to become even more awesome.

In conclusion, ladies and gents, if you are too sensitive about what people think or how they treat you, you won't make it.  As a girl in a field known as the "old boy's club" I can give you the following tips:

1.  Never, ever, under any circumstances, EVER let your professors see you cry.

2.  Don't brag, but don't ever hide your accomplishments.  It's super competitive and nice guys get kicked in the teeth.

3.  Don't ever betray a friend.  As I said, it's a competitive world and the moment you step on a friend is the moment your battle gets 1000 times harder.  People don't forget in academia.  They store information as ammunition.  The academic world is small and you'll need every contact you ever made to succeed.

4.  If you're a girl, you have to dress the part.  Boys can show up in anything they want and be taken seriously.  Girls cannot.  Sorry to say it, but you're at a disadvantage.....so you need to do everything you can to get peoples' attention.  Dressing well commands an element of respect and you'll need every little advantage you can muster so that people can really see how good you are.

5.  Always go above and beyond.  Like I said, your "naked boobs" (this phrase was used at least 5 times in my literature class today.....and yet it was a purely academic discussion....don't you wish you were in my class?) make it really difficult for people to take you seriously so it's your job to show them up.  Always read the suggested reading and always find a supporting article for you classes.  If it's a faculty meeting, you should always know more about what's being discussed than everyone else.....but don't flaunt it.  Knowledge is power.....and you don't always have to show everyone how powerful you are.

Good luck my fair ladies.