"Teacher" is a euphemism

I'm sure at some point every little kid wanted to be a teacher.  But let me tell you something!  Teacher is a euphemism.  For what you ask?  Let me name some of things I am a regular basis:

1.  Bad excuse sifter-thougher

2.  Expert negotiator

3.  Pep talk giver and amazing motivator

4.  Life coach and expert advice giver

5.  Crisis manager

6.  Learn to live on 5 hours sleep because the mountain of grading never gets smaller -er

7.  Grammar explainer extraordinaire

8.  Amazing time management and future planner...I already have the 2010-2011 and 2011-2012 academic years planned out.

9.  Explainer of the same point in 100 different ways

10.  Master attention holder