No.....it's not extreme or a dramatic statement. It's the truth and here's why.
1. Everyone else is excited except the person who has to do it......but there's not epidural for a dissertation defense!
2. When you get into trouble, there's always the risk of death, but none of the world's foremost obstetricians are on hand to save the poor PhD student.
3. While scheduling the defense is a lot like scheduling induction, there's no "oops, you failed, come back in two days and try again." If I fail, my life is over and I will have to slit my own throat in a display of humiliation on the quad in front of Dey Hall. And then the Pit Preacher will probably come stand over me and yell at everyone, thumping his bible, and explaining how my sins will never be absolved and obviously I was struck down as an example of the world's gravest sins. I'm not kidding, that's seriously how that would play out.
4. When it's over I don't get to take an adorable baby home and play with it and get lots of cute presents and visitors and people bringing food and hand me down clothes. I get three letters, a ton of revisions, and probably a to do list of about ten things I need to finish by May 15.
5. I think there's Post Defense Depression.....but no one really knows what to do about it.
Now, I've never actually had a baby, so perhaps I've missed a few things on the whole childbirth thing, but I don't think so. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes and that my Tuesday defense will be worse that childbirth. So, please forward all of your positive energy to me in Chapel Hill on Tuesday May 3 at 1pm. Lord knows I'll need it!
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